We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
