Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I am one with the molecules
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
