They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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