So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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