I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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