Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
