my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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