just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
