i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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