I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
