You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
