bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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