TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize