He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
