Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
