ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
