EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You dont lie about slip and slides
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
