sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
