She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
