Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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