This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
