You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
