this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
