Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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