There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
