this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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