And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
