I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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