i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
