he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
