I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
