I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
