Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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