Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
