No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
