i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize