i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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