Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
