If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize