she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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