mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
