mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
