Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
