You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
