really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
