Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
