He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
