How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
