hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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