Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
