i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
