the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
