The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize