Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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