This girl is more easily done than said...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
