it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
