My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
