Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize