I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
