It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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