Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
