not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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