have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
