I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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