Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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