I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
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