Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
